Beliefs, Values and Identity

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  • What is the meaning of the word “Belief”?
  • Do our beliefs affect our emotional state, decision making and actions?
  • What causes Anger, Fear, Happiness, Sadness, Disappointment, Surprise?
  • What is meant by a Belief System? Is it fixed, flexible or totally changeable?
  • How to identify your Belief System?
  • Is it absolutely necessary to fact check the Beliefs and Belief Systems?
  • Is it necessary to reform and refine our Belief system?
  • How to reform our Belief System?

My Experience

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I decided to share this testimonial since I felt that this will concrete your belief that you have found the correct guide.

What exactly happened?

Was highly stressed due to work and relationship issues. This led to acute depression with psychotic episodes for a short term.


Was administered few medicines in Pschiatry along with lifestyle changes and I recovered 95% within 3 to 4 months.


Well, it was definitely not a cakewalk. The treatment helped a lot but what exactly helped me through is the counselling/guidance given to me by an able person.

It consisted of identifying key areas of improvement and most importantly not to over-stress in this process.

Some of the findings:

Being a Perfectionist

Type of person who wants every single thing to go as per plan and nothing shall fall apart. This was addressed by inculcating a Plan B approach.

Simply, if something goes wrong, just focus on what’s next, than why this? Categorize actions into immediate actions which must always focus on preventing a disaster situation, actual action and finally how to avoid the situation in future.

Expect perfection, but don’t hate or fear imperfections.

Imagine a family get together where everything goes streamlined as per plan and the other case where there is complete chaos. Yet, you restore normalcy intelligently and ultimately achieved excellence. I would say the second case will be spicier!!! 

Being too much Empathetic

Empathy defines human nature. There is no doubt about that but when you shower too much of love or anger or even hatred over someone, you tend to get carried away by the emotion and act insane or even get influenced by others’ emotional state.

Moderation is the key. Sometimes you need to be selfish to preserve your emotional balance. Remember you will receive hate from at least one person close to you, well this is a good sign of you moving towards the change intended.

Please keep in mind that a tortoise cannot move like a tiger. Things get done in their own pace and hence instead of heating up the RAM, learn to prioritize things and sometimes a couple of refreshes (F5) can make the system faster!!!

Affinity towards negativity

I wouldn’t say that I was a negative thinker, but I was not a positive thinker either. Develop positivity by doing a hobby. I preferred to get a percussion drum, practiced it, performed and got an applause.

Though I had a sense of rhythm in me by birth, its a no lie that your friends applaud you even if you play it like hell. I am just trying to emphasize that a support system is always vital. Make sure you treat those people really good. Go gift them something !!!

Overthinking leads to negative thoughts. Futuristic and ‘what next’ thinking leads to positive thoughts. We don’t have time to overthink. I believe life is too short to overthink.

Other Changes:

  1. Regularity in daily chores.
  2. Talking to friends with charm, though you feel low.
  3. Maintaining your cool at all possible times.
  4. Doing some meditation.
  5. Sad / low days are acceptable, but not always.
  6. Understanding that mood swings are completely normal.
  7. You will get to see that you move towards thinking by the mind and not through emotions.
  8. Believe me, you will inspire many.

My Journey in Overcoming Self Love Deficit condition

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Recently I found that I have Self Love Deficit disorder or popularly called as Co-dependency. It is not always good neither it is not always bad. But having inadequate self-love is always a matter of concern. Most of adult life problems are directly related to this.

Once adequate self-love is gained, the problems appear like an easy challenge to overcome and the overall quality of life become much better.

Co-dependency is something I have learned to accept as the right or the only way to live, until the arrival of my spiritual guru. My spiritual guru taught me, many things. For the first time in my life, I am seeing things from a new perspective.

I learned to distinguish between good and bad intentions of people, how assertiveness helps in being authentic and avoids many unwanted problems before they even start to appear.

I wanted to change my life. I wanted to take complete responsibility for my life. Therefore I started to learn more about it.

I know the journey will be challenging, especially when I am travelling alone.

The tool I am taking to treat myself is Self-Love. To increase Self-Love, I have to do something, that makes my soul happy and feel nourished.

I am looking forward to learn more and more about co-dependency, assertiveness and passive-aggressiveness.

I am looking forward to form very good habits in my life.

The things I like the most is painting, crafts and engineering.

The most important thing is consistency.

I also looking to make a journal along the way. This will help me with self-reflection and growth, therefore creating more self-awareness.

Self-awareness is the fundamental of mental hygiene.

Day 1: 19 January 2021.

I took an online course in Udemy. It is about How I overcame Social Anxiety, grew confidence and self-esteem. This course is from Tobias Atkins.

The course works well for me. More than 90 per cent of mental health issues come from a lack of self-esteem. Self-esteem is also called by different names by different people. Some call it as self-worth, some call it as self-love and many other names.

Whatever the name could be, it comes from self-acceptance. Accept ourselves unconditionally.

Self Love

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Self-Love is an important concept I learned Today.

People with self-love take good care of themselves.

People with self-love respect themselves.

Hurt People, Hurt People.

People who are, hurt themselves, hurt others.

When people don’t heal, they bleed on people who care for them.

So, do the thing, which nourishes your soul.

Heal your past wounds as early as possible.

Love your dear ones the way you want to be treated in their place.

I know it is hard. Really hard.

That’s where the Power of Now comes.

Be in the Presence. Neither in the Past nor in the Future. In the Now.

It takes a lot. So what? The benefit is more than worth it.

We are spiritual beings on a human journey. God is trying to teach us what we need to learn. When we don’t learn, the same things will only repeat. Together we can gain strength.

Thanks to my spiritual guru.

Interview Preparation

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Interviews are a great way of focussed communication. It is a great tool for the employer and the employee to know about the candidate and the culture to find the right fit for their professional growth.

An effective resume will get you the interview you wanted. You can have a loot at how to create an effective resume, here.

Interviews are part of any job. You need to clear an interview to get the job, to get promoted, moving out of present company or you may need to interview your potential clients or present clients to find their needs or get more clarity.

It is good when you gain experience at both the sides of the interview panel.

Common Questions interviewers can ask you

  1. Tell me about yourself
  2. What are your goals short term and long term?
  3. What do you like doing the most?
  4. What are your strengths and weaknesses?
  5. How did you learn about our company?
  6. What do you learn about the company?
  7. Why do you want to work for the company?
  8. Why should we hire you?
  9. What are your major achievements?
  10. Describe your ideal working environment.
  11. What type of management style do you work best with?
  12. What motivates you in the work environment?
  13. What frustrates you in the work environment?
  14. What would you bring to this position?
  15. How would you describe your personality?
  16. What are some of your outside activities and interests?
  17. What areas have you identified that you would like to improve on and what have you done about them?
  18. What are your career goals in 3, 5, 7 and 11 years?
  19. What level of salary are you seeking?

Questions you can ask the interviewer

  1. What is the reason for the vacancy?
  2. What are the key performance measures for this job?
  3. What are the company’s growth plans?
  4. What are the company’s latest sales and profit results?
  5. Who are the company’s major competitors and what are the company’s competitive strengths?
  6. Where does the company see itself going in the next three to five years?

The Power of Charting your Progress

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When we want to improve ourselves, the first thing that we do is to buy a good self-help book. Sometimes we buy and read a lot of self-help books. Still, you may have questions about whether you are really changing or not. Right?

You may read a lot of self-help books, you may implement them, but when it comes to impact, you don’t know whether the change is giving you the intended effect. Right?

In that case, you need feedback. Getting the right feedback immediately is the fastest way to improve yourself.

When you don’t know when to get the right feedback, a reflection tool would help you.

Some people would suggest writing a journal. But you are overwhelmed with so many things to improve and find journalling exhaustive.

In that case, try following an emotional chart for the things you need to improve.

Here I have presented to you a chart which follows an emotional weighted scale for Assertiveness and Communication Skills.

If you are happy with your Assertivess or Communication skills give a 10. If you are not happy give a 1.

The scales are designed such that 1,2,3,4 represents “Need to Improve” 5,6,7 represents “Good” and 8,9,10 represents “Excellent”.

When you also record why and how things happened to you, it would be a great reflection tool.

Marking your specific area of improvement against this criteria will give you a good measure of your progress.

However, the scales are dynamic in nature.

The values you have used for the past week will not be the same for this week.

Because either you would have outgrown them, or you would have encountered a new challenge.

Anyway seeing your progress in your own eyes will give you much-needed motivation.

One such chart, I have developed is for your view. This is just a model, therefore the values used are indicatory only.

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